Early Monday Morning

My sleep cycles get almost back to normal [whatever that means] and *WHUMP* I find myself wide awake at 0400.  This does not make my happy.  Do I go back to bed and try to sleep?  Do I read something and hope I can fall asleep?  Do I stay up, make some Earl Grey and milk, or ride this out and hope for the best later today?

Dawn and I have both been feeling under the weather during this past weekend.  Both of us have been lazy and slummin’ in our jammies.  My sister and I missed our usual Saturday outing.  We ‘re both set in our ways, sissie and I, and missing our Saturday lunch has ‘confusilated’ (Eggerhaus vernacular) both of us.

As a Native American through marriage, I’ve been watching the events at Standing Rock unfold with much interest.  The recent Army Corps of Engineers decision leaves me waiting for the other shoe to drop. There’s no trusting the government or the BIA in all of this.  I get “my” news from http://indiancountrytodaymedianetwork.com/ and http://AIMovement.org; Dawn is a lifetime member of AIM.  The fat lady hasn’t started singing at Standing Rock yet.  I’m sure once Trump is in office all sorts of shit is going to hit the fan.  The support from the Veterans’ group has been awesome.  One white soldier was quoted as saying  (sic) “I took an oath when I went into the Army, and that oath doesn’t have an expiration date.”

Six years ago my mother died on Christmas morning; Christmas is difficult for me now, but each year I feel less sad.  I have gift cards for a few in my family, and hope to find something for Gila Rae when sissie and I go out this coming Saturday.  I’m missing mom more this year (stop overthinking, dammit).  Maybe it has something to do with my granddaughter having her first Christmas.  Gila Rae is very lucky…she comes from a long line of Really Strong Women, and she’s going to make her mark known in the world.  I won’t be around when that comes to fruition, but it’s great to look at her, cooing and crying and bubbling and burping and sighing and smiling, and wonder what God has in store for her.

I finally have an Epistle and a Gospel reading chosen for my funeral.  The Epistle is from 2 Corinthians 4: “We preach that Jesus Christ is Lord, and we ourselves are your servants for Jesus’ sake. For God, who said, “Let there be light in the darkness,” has made this light shine in our hearts so we could know the glory of God that is seen in the face of Jesus Christ.  We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves. We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair.  We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies. Yes, we live under constant danger of death because we serve Jesus, so that the life of Jesus will be evident in our dying bodies.  So we live in the face of death, but this has resulted in eternal life for you.  But we continue to preach because we have the same kind of faith the psalmist had when he said, “I believed in God, so I spoke.” We know that God, who raised the Lord Jesus, will also raise us with Jesus and present us to himself together with you.  All of this is for your benefit. And as God’s grace reaches more and more people, there will be great thanksgiving, and God will receive more and more glory. That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day.  For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever!  So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.” (NLT)

My Gospel selection is from John 14: “All who love me will do what I say. My Father will love them, and we will come and make our home with each of them. Anyone who doesn’t love me will not obey me. And remember, my words are not my own. What I am telling you is from the Father who sent me. I am telling you these things now while I am still with you. But when the Father sends the Advocate as my representative—that is, the Holy Spirit—he will teach you everything and will remind you of everything I have told you. “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.  Remember what I told you: I am going away, but I will come back to you again. If you really loved me, you would be happy that I am going to the Father, who is greater than I am.  I have told you these things before they happen so that when they do happen, you will believe.  “I don’t have much more time to talk to you, because the ruler of this world approaches. He has no power over me, but I will do what the Father requires of me, so that the world will know that I love the Father. Come, let’s be going.” (NLT)

Long lessons?  yup  Good for a funeral?  yup…for my funeral.  Now, I need to look at the music.  I have some plans for the music.  It’ll be an interesting funeral for sure.

If you haven’t noticed, Earl Grey won. 🙂


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