I’ve shared what’s going on with me with some friends and colleagues. They’ve been very supportive. Somewhat alarmist, but supportive. They can’t seem to understand my comments “it is what it is” and “don’t plan on tomorrow, plan for tomorrow.” My friends in recovery do…but the ‘normies’ don’t, and probably never will.
Interstitial lung disease has a 50% survival rate at five years. That means that, statistically, I’ve got a one in two chance of being dead in 1825 days. (1826 days if you toss in a leap year.) That means nothing to me…absolutely nothing…because I choose to live life one day at a time. I meditate. I stay focused on the present…and I *refuse* to let this disease kill me. My outlook is upbeat and positive. I lookforward to learning a lot in pulmonary rehab.
Life is about choices. I choose to live in the positive…I choose to live in what AA calls “the sunlight of the spirit”…I choose to live. My sweetness is the best thing that ever happened to me…and I plan on spending every sober breath God gives me making her happy.
My children live happy and productive lives and I certainly don’t want them putting their lives on hold because of my lungs. I’ll have to let them know that.