a musical interlude (two songs, same tune)

To the tune of “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocius” …

Um diddle diddle um diddle ay
Um diddle diddle um diddle ay

Superchristological and Homoousiosis
Even though the sound of them is something quite atrocious
You can always count on them to anathemize your Gnosis
Superchristological and Homoousiosis

Um diddle diddle um diddle ay
Um diddle diddle um diddle ay

Now Origen and Arius were quite a clever pair.
Immutable divinity made Logos out of air.
But then one day Saint Nicholas gave Arius a slap —
And told them if they can’t recant, they ought to shut their trap!

[chorus] Oh, Superchristological and Homoousiosis…

One Prosopon, two Ousia are in one Hypostasis.
At Chalcedon this formula gave our faith its basis.
You can argue that you don’t know what this means,
But don’t you go and try to say there’s a “Physis” in between!

[chorus] Oh, Superchristological and Homoousiosis…

Um diddle diddle um diddle ay
Urn diddle diddle um diddle ay

Now freedom and autonomy are something to be praised,
But when it comes to human sin, these words must be rephrased,
For Pelagius was too confident that we could work it out–
And Augustine said *massa damnata* is what it’s all about.

[chorus] Oh, Superchristological and Homoousiosis…

Heresies are arguments that you might find attractive,
But just remember in this case the Church is quite reactive.
So play it safe and memorize these words we sing together,
‘Cause in the end you’ll find, my friend, that we may live forever.

[chorus] Oh, Superchristological and Homoousiosis
Even though the sound of them is something quite atrocious
You can always count on them to anathematize your Gnosis
Superchristological and Homoousiosis

Lyrics by Dan Idzikowski

“The Reformation Polka”

by Richard Gebel

(sung to the tune of “Supercalifragilistic-expialidocious”)

When I was just ein junger Mann I studied canon law;

While Erfurt was a challenge, it was just to please my Pa.

Then came the storm, the lightning struck, I called upon Saint Anne,

I shaved my head, I took my vows, an Augustinian! Oh, –

-Chorus:

Papal bulls, indulgences, and transubstantiation –

Speak your mind against them and face excommunication!

Nail your theses to the door, let’s start a Reformation!

Papal bulls, indulgences, and transubstantiation!

When Tetzel came near Wittenberg, St. Peter’s profits soared,

I wrote a little notice for the All Saints’ Bull’tin board:

“You cannot purchase merits, for we’re justified by grace!

Here’s 95 more reasons, Brother Tetzel, in your face!” Oh-

-Chorus:

Papal bulls, indulgences, and transubstantiation –

Speak your mind against them and face excommunication!

Nail your theses to the door, let’s start a Reformation!

Papal bulls, indulgences, and transubstantiation!

They loved my tracts, adored my wit, all were exempleror;

The Pope, however, hauled me up before the Emperor.

“Are these your books? Do you recant?” King Charles did demand,

“I will not change my Diet, Sir, God help me here I stand!” Oh-

-Chorus:

Papal bulls, indulgences, and transubstantiation –

Speak your mind against them and face excommunication!

Nail your theses to the door, let’s start a Reformation!

Papal bulls, indulgences, and transubstantiation!

Duke Frederick took the Wise approach, responding to my words,

By knighting “George” as hostage in the Kingdom of the Birds.

Use Brother Martin’s model if the languages you seek,

Stay locked inside a castle with your Hebrew and your Greek! Oh-

-Chorus:

Papal bulls, indulgences, and transubstantiation –

Speak your mind against them and face excommunication!

Nail your theses to the door, let’s start a Reformation!

Papal bulls, indulgences, and transubstantiation!

Let’s raise our steins and Concord Books while gathered in this place,

And spread the word that ‘catholic’ is spelled with lower case;

The Word remains unfettered when the Spirit gets his chance,

So come on, Katy, drop your lute, and join us in our dance! Oh-

-Chorus:

Papal bulls, indulgences, and transubstantiation –

Speak your mind against them and face excommunication!

Nail your theses to the door, let’s start a Reformation!

Papal bulls, indulgences, and transubstantiation!

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